Katie and her many many thoughts

I’ll be developing a new photography series for this summer. I hope to find hair and make up person to be apart of the idea. I think I’ll need at least 10 women. It’s actually not as dark as my other ideas. Which reminds me, I still need to do post work done to my last photo shoot. I think she’ll want to see them!

I still have tons of photos to go through from when I was traveling so much of last year. Some really great photo journalism work.

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This weekend is the only restful weekend I’ll have. The next three will be busy. The 17th, my very good best friend Valerie is visiting! yay! The following weekend, family reunion in West Virginia, and the weekend after that one is the Revlon Run/Walk in NYC. Which I do every year. Then I am done until the 11th of June, wedding in Chicago! I am looking forward to that actually. At first I wasn’t really into going but now I am.

Yesterday, brought off another roll of b/w medium film off. That roll is mostly random stuff. But exciting to me all the same.

Last night, Jason and I saw Two Lovers I made a small post here
Cinematrices

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I support it. Well I like it, every tax season, I am again reminded how our tax system sucks. Sure since I am a single, no children and a renter, that I should pay out the ass in taxes! It would one thing if we all received the same benefits but we do not. So the more money you make, the more you are taxes and the benefits go down. You do have to ask yourself if some people do not want to make more just because of that. F*** like I asked to make X amount of dollars so I could be taxed!

I want to move to Europe.

If I had to choose which I like better, socialism would be my choice but in my true heart, I’m Libertarian.

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Loneliness, the state of “feeling lonely,” describes a human state or feeling involving isolation, or the feeling of disconnection with others, etc.

Yeah I feel like this.

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So these past few days, I’ve been anxious. And a feeling of relief in a weird way, but it makes me sad too. When anything comes to a close, you feel sad. You wish it wouldn’t stop but after you get through through some really rough spots, there might be light. So you use whatever you can to make yourself stronger.

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I dream a lot. And I remember 99% of them. To the finest detail. Sometimes I can even take control of them. Last night, I had three dreams. All of which woke myself up with terrible nite sweats. I was sweating a lot, but freezing. My heart was racing. It wasn’t the first time this has happened. But three times in one night? Crazy. They were so intense, so real feeling. My mind must have been in some sort of mental state, to get my heart beating so far. It was kinda scary to wake up finding yourself like that. I won’t be going into the details of my dream here, because sometimes I find them embarrassing. It’s not like it’s a sexual dream. But it’s the people that tend to pop into my dreams. It’s usually people I have never meet, but wouldn’t mind meeting. How likely is that anyways. I would feel such a fool to list their names. So if you know me in person, then you’ll hear about them.

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I finished Eclipse last nite and already started Breaking Dawn. Last and I believe final book. Which fine by me. Just a week left on my solo exhibit. It’s been surreal to have that happen to me, maybe it’ll happen again. I sure do hope so. Oh, I bought another children book, Splat the Cat. Very funny book. It’s good to keep some simple books around to tame your mind from aging to fast.

He’s really adorable!

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You ever felt like the life you lead just isn’t the life you feel right in? Like deep down inside of yourself that something else is meant for you? Or could it just be a fantasy in your own mind thinking of something you only wish it would come true. I do not know which it is for me, but I wish I could trust the person who tells me they love me and believe it’s real. The past 10 years for me has been trying to find my own happiness. I have had false starts that only lead to heartache. I have a deep feeling I need to relocate, again. I just have to stick it out here for a little longer. I just feel right now that I do feel something else is meant for me. I just do not know if it is the right thing. Or I will only find more of the same of what is here. I suppose I’ll have to see how I am in year and see if I am still feeling as I do now. I hate to think I have to still wait longer to find out who I am inside. I do not know anymore if I am strong enough to carry on and keep an eye open for myself. I have wrapped up so much delusional words in my head. Is anything I am thinking rational?

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